Whether you’re single, married, or in that ‘it’s complicated’ phase, you’ve likely measured the men in your life against the List. You know the one. It’s the running mental checklist of must-haves, nice-to-haves, and deal-breakers. It feels like the ultimate guide to finding “The One” and having a satisfying, healthy relationship. But what if we’ve been going about it all wrong?

This post isn’t about settling. It’s about a total mindset shift—one that can change not just your relationships but your life. A friend of mine taught me this lesson one random afternoon. And trust me, it hit me hard. Stop endlessly searching for Mr. Right and start building the kind of love that…