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Here are three important reasons why self-care is so important.
Self Care: Eating! I get grumpy when I don’t eat, and I forget to eat at times. I forget when I’m busy working on a project, or out running errands. More recently, I forgot when putting out Christmas decorations to prepare for the holidays. When I forget to eat, I get very impatient, my tone and my countenance change. I become easily angered by small things. I have to remind myself to eat, even though eating is a fundamental, natural necessity in our daily lives.
Self Care: Breathing! The same can be true for many people who forget to breathe despite that breathing is a fundamental, natural necessity. They may find themselves dizzy due to lack of oxygen, and perhaps anxious and stressed. What about some other, more common self-care-related fundamental?
Self Care: Other essentials of daily life include showering, hygiene, sleep, etc. These are all very basic, but important ways in which we as humans MUST practice self-care. When it comes to self-care, let’s not stop here though.
Self Care: Mental and emotional well-being! What about those things we often neglect because they are not so basic and fundamental? What about celebrating the parts about YOU that are different from others? Or finding ways to savor memories from long ago? How about allowing yourself to receive a small gift, hug, or smile from a friend? How often do you hide treasures you want to keep, (both tangible and also your most treasured hopes and dreams)? When did you last enjoy togetherness with friends and family in the midst of a fast, busy life?
Determine to journey through the Live-Heart-Fully Journal. Check it out here.
These are all things that tend to get left behind in the midst of babies, sicknesses, soccer games, doctor appointments, visiting in-laws, holidays, and in general, life. However, when we don’t take care of ourselves, this is what happens…
Self-care is ESSENTIAL to Our Marriage
There is so much work, and so many people involved in making a good marriage! By work, I mean daily and mutual respect for the other. I also mean the many different ways to show love. The trust in your spouse grows with time. With trust, there is the bond that grows, the communication that takes energy, effort, and vulnerability. Let’s not forget the physical and emotional intimacy, which can sometimes be tiresome once kids are around. This work, all this work-it ALWAYS needs to be intentional. At the beginning of this paragraph, I said ‘so much work, and so many people…’ By many people, I mean those we turn to for counsel when things get hard. I refer to our friends and family. Their love, wise words, and support are so frequently forgotten. But again, it takes many more people than just two to make a marriage good.
The necessities we need in order to keep love alive in our marriage get thrown out the window in exchange for the status quo when we neglect to give ourselves the time to recharge and process our current circumstances. This also happens when we neglect to sleep, eat, and breathe. When we don’t care for ourselves, we don’t have the energy to care for those we deeply love. Our bond with our spouse will begin to loosen. We won’t be fully present in the most intimate moments. We won’t have the strength to seek help and counsel when we should. And our spouse will suffer the effects of our own lack of self-care more than any other person. But wait, there’s more…
Self-care is ESSENTIAL to Our Children
Remember that last tantrum your toddler threw over something so silly? You were shocked that she cared about such a small thing. She had never before communicated how truly important it was to her, until now. Did you realize later that she was either hungry, tired, or both? When my son is having several meltdowns over small, insignificant things, I know the best way to calm and comfort him is to offer him something substantial to eat. He immediately starts smiling, forgetting whatever bothered him so much just ten minutes prior. He even makes comments like, “I feel better now Mommy cause my belly is happy”!
Aren’t we the same though? We get irritable when we are tired, hungry, and anxious. When we don’t give ourselves time to enjoy a new book, a cup of coffee or tea, a Hallmark movie, or a long, hot shower, we can have our own meltdowns. Our adult meltdowns are not too different than our children’s. They look like becoming easily angered, irritable, frustrated, impatient, lethargic, and emotionally unavailable. Yelling at our children might be common when all they want is a few minutes of our attention. We might be unable to adequately provide our growing children with the proper nutrition to support their own physical, mental, and emotional growth. We might not have the energy to teach them some of life’s greatest lessons or foster their own independence. To say it plainly, when we are not taking care of ourselves, our children suffer too.
Self-care is ESSENTIAL to Our Friendships
When was the last time you called a friend for no other reason except to simply say hello? What about showing up at a friend’s house unannounced to hang out, and check in with him/her?
I get it! Life is busy. Cultural norms have changed since the fifties when these things were common and appreciated. But there are other things we can do today for our friends, regardless of how busy life may get. Besides, having phone conversations is not all that old-fashioned. However, when we are not giving ourselves the care we need, we will not be able to support our friends when they need us. Our loyalty, commitment to seeing them, talking with them regularly, and ability to reach out when they need help or counsel and hold them accountable will be lost. This is partly because we won’t have the energy, and partly because we won’t know how to share our love. The bottom line is that when we aren’t taking care of ourselves properly, we lose sight of how to properly care for those we love.
So what do we do? How do we do it? Where do we start?
Live Heart-Fully
I created Live Heart-Fully because I know that taking care of ME is what I need to focus on this upcoming year. I have written and designed Live Heart-Fully to be a weekly reminder to take time out and consider myself. If you join me in this journey to Live Heart-Fully, we will together, through practical and intentional ways, begin to prioritize self-care. And in doing this each week, we will create new habits enabling us to pour into those we love. I hope you will join me, and I hope you will find encouragement through this journey to Live Heart-Fully.
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