Five Proven & Fail Proof Ways To Connect With Others

Start connecting with others using these five proven techniques.

Make a Phone Call and Chat for a Minimum of Twenty Minutes

I might be aging myself, but I remember a time when texting did not exist. Talking on the phone was the only way! My very first goal when I started making phone calls was to call friends I had not seen in a while because they don’t live in proximity to me. However, this began to evolve and now I realize that I still need to have ‘talk time’ with those close in proximity too. Life can be busy, especially when there are little ones involved. Sending a quick text is a great way to get a quick question or thought out to a friend. But it doesn’t replace conversation. I had friends who lived less than a mile away who I rarely saw, and a simple text message was not enough. I started making phone calls. You can also find time in your day when you can sit down and chat with a friend. Making a phone call for no other reason but to simply say ‘hello’ is a great way to connect with others. Check out these other ideas too.

Host a Monthly Event at your Home

While it’s fun to go out, inviting friends into your personal space is like inviting them into your heart. It shows that you can be trusted and reliable. Even more, it shows them that you are real, raw, and at times, even messy. In fact, let’s be real and raw right now— this is life! An invitation to your home does not need to be a fancy, formal, must-prepare food type of event. It can be comfortable, with just water and tea/coffee. It can be just sitting on the couch, or lying across the floor, just chatting.

I understand monthly might be too much. For some of you, it might be too little. The point here is to just pick a timeline you are comfortable with and stick to it. Write down a list of friends, perhaps six people, who you want to extend the invitation to, pick a date, and do it. Depending on your schedule, it can be the same day/date each time, or it may vary. The idea here is to get a group together and start building relationships with them and let them connect with others and build relationships with one another too.

This next tip on connecting with others is a big one.

Extend Meaningful Words of Encouragement, Regularly

This is a big one so I am going to spend more time on it. There is nothing more exhausting and ugly than getting beat down by pessimistic, cynical people who, even if unintentionally, have only discouraging things to say about you, others, and life in general. On the contrary, there is something refreshing and beautiful about those who fill your world with hope and encouragement. I love spending time with people who encourage me. I thrive on their kind and sincere words. Don’t we all!?

Encouragement is such an important way to connect with others for many reasons! Not to get down on this world, or on life, but we live in a cruel, harsh world. Life can so quickly beat down on us. People can be cruel, jobs can be stressful, and the environment, with all its amazing resources, can bring little to no hope of a worry-free future. Our innocence is often crushed at a very young age by television, media, peers, sometimes teachers, political agendas, and more. The wonder we experience as babies and toddlers, and the belly laughs in those early years progressively decrease until there is no more wonder and very little laughter left. In such a harsh world, what we all need is a lot, a LOT of encouragement to build us up and give us hope.

So, what is encouragement?

For example, a friend came to visit me at my home the other day. Songwriting is her passion. Because of this, she has been taking all kinds of music and songwriting classes, and doing everything she can to position herself with singers and songwriters. She is currently writing a song that she sang to me during our time together. It was beautiful and full of heart and inspiration. I shared these things with her. But I also told her she needs to sing more around her house, in the shower, and everywhere. And when lyrics and melodies come, she needs to write them down and make a habit of it. She has a gift but has been so busy taking classes (even though she has all the knowledge she needs at this stage), that she hasn’t produced anything yet.

My words to my friend really inspired and built her up in a big way. She told me that she needed that kind of encouragement to move forward. Not only that, but her opening her heart and soul to me through a song, and then letting me encourage her brought us to a deeper, more beautiful level of connection with one another.

Let’s begin to connect with others by building one another up and encouraging each other in our dreams, hopes, and desires.

There’s something else we can do as we begin to discover a person’s passions and interests.

Put Thought and Meaning into Gifts, when appropriate

Have you ever received a gift that is so off-base of who you are? The gesture convinced you that the gift-giver doesn’t know you at all? Or have you ever asked for a particular gift, and the person responded by saying, “Because you asked for it, I am NOT getting it for you”? These people are not good gift-givers. Luckily for them, my love language, (Take Gary Chapman’s 5 Love Languages Quiz) is not gift-giving. So a terrible gift is not a deal breaker or a big deal to me at all. In fact, I don’t care if I get a gift or not. However, I know there are those who really get upset when they get terrible gifts because gifts are an important way in which they feel loved and connected with others. Why is all this important?

I say all this because I want to stress the importance of taking time to consider what the person actually likes, loves, and wants. No, your gifts to others don’t need to be perfect and outdo everyone else’s gifts. They don’t even need to be expensive or fancy. But as you consider a gift for someone, consider when and how they will use it, and why they might love it. Put some good, sincere thought into the gift you choose.

There’s one more thing!

Offer your Service to Help

Serving others had never really been my thing! It was not my own personal language of love, nor was it something that came naturally to me. Serving others is not something I would ever have thought about and I was often too busy doing other things that I had little to no time left to serve anyone, (that is, other than my husband and myself).

BUT…

Then I became a mother! And when that happened, I began to appreciate little acts of service more than I ever have before. I needed help in both big and little ways. As a new mother, I was tired, hungry, and stressed. And I wasn’t confident that I was doing enough for the brand new life in my arms. Anything, however big or small, spoke mountains of love to my heart.

It was the small acts of service that made a way for me to connect with others when I otherwise felt trapped in my home and unable to get out to have quality time with friends. Things like getting me a glass of water, making me a simple breakfast, and doing dinner prep for me so I would have meals for the next week, (thanks Mom), really helped and meant a lot. Still to this day, little acts of service are such a sweet way for someone to show me they are thinking of me and they love me.

However, it’s not just about me, is it?

How can we serve others?

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