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help kids succeed with household chores – increase their autonomy – build their confidence
As parents, we often juggle countless responsibilities—work, errands, and keeping the home running smoothly. Let’s be honest here and say it plainly – we are busy, and often too busy. That is why once the kids are old enough, including them in household chores can be a game changer. After all, having them clean up after themselves can lighten the burden for us parents in a big way.
The big problem these days…
Getting kids to do chores around the house can feel like an uphill battle. This challenge can make it more burdensome than it’s worth.
However, it doesn’t have to be this way.
Doing household Chores Across Generations
In fact, it wasn’t this way at all for my Gen-X peers when we were growing up. Many of us remember growing up with household chores as non-negotiable. Our parents expected us to pitch in as soon as we could hold a broom. Gen-X children didn’t rely on charts or apps. They also didn’t get an allowance for the work they did around the house. They just had direct orders—”Mow the lawn!” “Clean the garage!” or “Do the dishes!”
Then Gen-X became parents themselves. Through their angst and pain, they raised the Millennials. The Millennials were also raised with the expectation of doing chores. But parents often allowed more flexibility and included incentives—like giving an allowance.
Moving on, younger Gen-Xers and older Millennials raised a new generation, Gen-Z, and still a new one, the Alphas. And some for better, some for worse, a whole lot of things have really changed in the home since. Regarding even some of the most basic household responsibilities, technology, structure, charts, and stickers play major roles. Allowances, of course, also play major roles in building responsibility.
So how do we empower our kids for household chores?
The tools have changed. But, children completing household responsibilities is still crucial for fostering independence. It also builds confidence and accountability in children. As burdensome as it is, especially in the early childhood years, parents should still aspire to teach children how to participate in household chores.
How can parents keep their children motivated? The key is finding a method that works. It is often a balancing act between guidance and autonomy, with a dash of fun.
In fact, with the right structure and a little creativity, household chores can become more than just tasks. They can be life lessons. By introducing a responsibility chart and setting clear daily and weekly expectations, parents can teach their children the value of contributing to the household. This approach builds skills and increases confidence.
You may be a stay-at-home parent with time to dedicate to a morning routine. Or you may be a busy working parent looking for quick and effective solutions. In either case, this guide will help you navigate the process. It will make it a fun, rewarding experience for the whole family. Read below to discover the good and simple strategies to empower your children to take on their household responsibilities.
But first, check this out.
I have created a free responsibility chart here that you can download and fill out for each of your children. I organized it by Daily Tasks, Weekly Tasks, Have You Check-Ins, and Daily Hot Jobs (see notes on these below).
For more reading, you might enjoy these articles…
Allowance, or No Allowance for household chores?
Before I dive into these good and simple strategies for completing household chores, I want to just say something. We absolutely do not pay our child an allowance for doing his household responsibilities. Please hold off on getting upset about that just yet. We have good, ethical reasons for this. I have written another article on why you need to know the truth about paying kids an allowance. You can read that blog here.
We started giving our son responsibilities when he was three. They were small and age-appropriate duties back then. So we did not feel it was necessary to pay him to do them. Now he is older, and we still do not feel it is necessary. In short, we have raised him to understand that he lives in our home and, like us, he needs to take good care of and maintain it. So, we all complete our responsibilities together, and no one gets paid to do them. We do them because we love our home and we want to live in it comfortably and enjoy the space.
A quick note for Stay-at-Home Parents
If you’re a stay-at-home parent, mornings after breakfast are a great time to do these household tasks. Just designate the 9-10am hour (for example) as the household responsibility hour. Your children will probably finish their tasks sooner than that. However, at least they know that right after breakfast every day, they will be working on their responsibilities.
A quick note for Working Parents
For working mothers, finding that time can be more difficult to do. It might have to be a shorter time frame each day. Alternatively, it can be a longer block of time two or three times each week.
If I may suggest, for parents of younger children, still try to block out time each day. Even if it is a shorter time. This will help create structure and establish the habit of doing their household chores daily. Even just taking twenty minutes right after dinner to work together on a few daily tasks can be beneficial. It helps in creating good habits for chores. These quick tasks can include: table chores, sweeping the kitchen and dining floors, wiping countertops, washing a window, dusting a piece of furniture, and laundry. These quick tasks can be so beneficial in creating good habits for chores.
Below is a list and explanation of how we split up household responsibilities for our son, including daily and weekly tasks, have-you check-ins, and daily hot jobs
The Daily Household chores:
These are things that need to be done every single day. They include checking the mail, cleaning up toys, and putting away shoes. He must also pick up all clothes from his bedroom floor and put them in the appropriate place. They also include feeding our cat, making his bed, his table chores, and helping to load and start the dishwasher. In the summer months, our son completes some of these tasks during our structured morning responsibility hour. During the school year, our son completes these tasks after study/homework time. Some of these responsibilities coincide with a meal, like breakfast or dinner. Our son completes them either before or after the meal.
The Weekly household chores:
These are responsibilities that don’t happen daily in our family. They include any laundry-related tasks (sorting, switching laundry over, folding, and putting away). I typically do laundry three times a week. They also include cleaning the floors, which he does as needed. He is responsible for checking floors to determine whether they need to be cleaned.
Giving your children responsibilities to finish within a timeline is a great way to encourage autonomy. Allowing them to decide when tasks should be done or how often they should be done, builds your child’s confidence.
Have You Check-ins:
He needs to check on these responsibilities daily and finish them (if needed) before he can enjoy any free time. So, when he comes to me and asks if he can go outside to play, my question to him is always, “have you” done (xyz tasks)?”. If he can honestly answer, “yes,” then he gets his free time. Otherwise, he needs to go check on those tasks and finish them if necessary.
The Have You Check-ins for our son include responsibilities like closing your window. They also include turning off the lights in unoccupied rooms. Another task is washing any fruits and vegetables that have been put out for lunch or dinner. I put them out for him to wash at breakfast time. Again, many of these are simple and “as needed” responsibilities, but they can be done during the morning responsibility hour.
Daily Hot Jobs:
The Daily Hot Job concept pinpoints all the spaces in the home. These are the spaces that easily and often become cluttered (a hot space). This allows me to create a quick daily routine to declutter those spaces. Everyone in the house has their own list of Hot Jobs to complete daily. We create the list based on all the hot spaces in the house and who uses those spaces most. Every day, each person cleans and organizes one designated space. Each person just goes down their list each day. When they get to the bottom, they go back to the first space and rotate through again.
But there are two rules to the Daily Hot Job list.
Daily Hot Job Rules
- A Hot Job can’t take more than twenty minutes to clean and organize. Otherwise is defeats the point of hot jobs, which is to be a daily routine that is quick and easy.
- A Hot Job list can’t be more than about twenty days of jobs. Remember, Hot Spaces often get cluttered and messy. If your list is too long, it will become overwhelming by the time you rotate back to it. It may take longer than twenty minutes to clean.
Full Disclosure About Hot Jobs Origin
I borrowed the term ‘Daily Hot Job’ from a previous job. I then merged it with the Hot Spot concept from the Fly Lady shortly after my son was born. I’ve been doing Daily Hot Jobs ever since. I have found it to be an effective way to keep troubled areas of the house clean. It also helps to keep these areas organized.
Some of the hot spaces on my list include the tops of the washer and dryer. This space collects items like mail, keys, sunglasses, and sunscreen when we come into the house, easily becoming cluttered. Our breakfast bar also gets cluttered with craft supplies and school papers. My nightstand just gets dusty and sometimes cluttered with books.
What Hot Jobs Look Like for my Son
Over this last summer, my son began doing Daily Hot Jobs. During the school year, we have scaled back his hot jobs to weekends because of the limited time he has between studying, other household responsibilities, and extracurricular stuff.
Just a side note here. We also place a high value on unstructured free time. So we make sure he gets that daily.
For my son’s Hot Job list, there are seven of his own hot spaces. I have also woven in three days off. This makes his list a ten-day rotation. Some of his jobs include dusting and organizing his toy cubbies. He also straightens up his homework station and cleans and dusts the top of his dresser. He cleans his bathroom sink, which seems to get unbelievably messy. Additionally, he dusts and straightens up his nightstand, and more.
I remember that first few days when he began working through his Hot Job list. He was hesitant, unsure of where to start, and completed them with caution and a little help from me. But after he tackled his nightstand and a few other jobs, his confidence grew. By the end of the week, he was proudly checking tasks off on his own. He was also eagerly looking ahead to the next few days of Hot Jobs.
Today, without prompting, he’ll take on his Daily Hot Job with a sense of ownership. That’s the magic of responsibility—once they get a taste of success, they want to keep going.
the Importance of kids helping with household chores
Now, it’s your turn. Take the tools from this article and put them into action in your own home. Start by creating a responsibility chart. You can assign your children daily and weekly responsibilities that are age-appropriate. Give them a few Have You Check-In tasks like turning off lights, and fans, closing windows, etc. Finally, implement Hot Jobs for your kids, and for yourself. Then, set a routine to complete the household chores.
Watch as your children start to take pride in their contributions. You’ll be amazed at how quickly the skills they learn through these simple tasks will translate into greater independence. They will also develop accountability in other areas of their lives. And you’ll feel pleased knowing you are raising confident, self-reliant children who are ready to contribute.
So, what are you waiting for? Start today. See how these simple strategies for teaching your children household chores can transform not only your household. They can also transform your children’s growth.