Table of Contents
Relationships with others are vital to our well-being – Discover why.
I am intentional, NOT apathetic, about cultivating relationships with my friends. In the last three years, cultivating relationships has become a high priority in my life. I have seen stagnant and struggling relationships begin to grow. New relationships have begun to flourish. I have loved each and every phone conversation, night in or out with girlfriends, and every breakfast shared! Every moment has been worthwhile! It has been a journey in which I MUST go beyond my comfort to cultivate relationships and make them happen. Here’s why!
When I began to consider my New Year’s Resolutions back in 2017, I started thinking about the person I want to be in my golden years. No, I’m not reaching my golden years, yet. But one day I will. I needed to take some time to consider the person I wanted to be when I got to that point. Do I envision a healthy, strong, relatively independent woman who can still get things done? Or do I picture myself joyful, still fascinated by the mysteries and wonders of this world? I hope those things are all true. Thinking about those things led me to consider an even more important question: How do I want others to interpret the life I have lived? What perception do I want others to have of the person I am?
Sign Up to Join the Live-Heart-Fully Series. You can read more about Live Heart-Fully at the end of this blog.
Cultivating Relationships: Introvert Syndrome
That is when I began to realize how important strong, healthy relationships are, and how little effort I have made to cultivate such relationships. You see, I have always been a bit shy, introverted, and mostly able to accomplish things on my own. Other than when I was a boy-crazy teenager, I have never really been much into talking on the phone. I have always been the one to receive invitations to events, however big or small, and I have rarely hosted or initiated events.
Arriving at the question of how I want others to interpret my life and also how I want them to perceive the person I am was a big question with a major black hole. I realized that at the end of my life, I didn’t want to be alone. Life is meant to be shared. Don’t get me wrong though, I’ll explain what I mean.
Cultivating Relationships: NOW
It’s not as if I didn’t have relationships at that time. I certainly did, some that reach back more than two decades of time. However, I also realized that this current stage of my life (as I reflected on life in 2017), was possibly the busiest stage with a spouse, a relatively new child, and lots of activities centered around those two people. However, I had not spoken with my personal friends for a while, and I had not seen them for even longer!
How can I make a lasting impression on others, show up for them the way they need me to, and be what they need me to be for them when I have made so few attempts to maintain my friendships now!? I want people to remember me for the wonderful person I hope to be to them. However, if I am not being that person to my friends NOW, or at least not putting forth a solid effort, then how can I expect I will be of value to them later!?
In all of this reflection, I came to realize I need and want to spend more time with my friends, go deep, and be vulnerable. I decided I needed to make some changes to how I approach relationships with others. Here’s what I did:
Sign Up to Join the Live-Heart-Fully Series. You can read more about Live Heart-Fully at the end of this blog.
Making Relationships Happen
My biggest resolution that year was to go beyond the usual quick and easy text message and to go beyond just waiting for the invites to happen. My goal was to call two people every week for no other reason than to simply say hello. I also began hosting a ladies’ night event and whether in or out, they were always fun! I reached out to a friend with whom I have seen through many seasons of life, and vice versa. Together we set a day each month in which we meet in the morning to share breakfast, coffee, and chat. Spending time with my friends in a variety of ways has been so nice.
Results of Cultivating Relationships
Since I started taking these three important steps to cultivate relationships and spend time with friends, I have seen stagnant and struggling relationships begin to grow again. New relationships have begun to flourish. I have loved each and every phone conversation, night in or out with girlfriends, and breakfast shared! Every moment has been worthwhile! It has been a journey in which I MUST go beyond my comfort and make relationships happen because if I am not doing it, who will? Life is busy for everyone, especially when kids are involved. However, if life is not about building relationships and connecting with others in a deep and vulnerable way that supports mental, emotional, and spiritual growth, then what else can it possibly be about? Taking the time to make relationships a priority should always be first in line.
Choosing to Live Heart-Fully
I still don’t know exactly what sort of person I will be known for in my golden years, or how others will perceive me. But at least for now, I can be certain that I am doing what I can to be intentional about reaching out to others and cultivating relationships. I need others, we all do! Whether my legacy will be life-changing to others or not, it needs to start one relationship at a time.
That is why I have strategically designed Live Heart-Fully with actionable steps to help make cultivating relationships practical. If you choose to join me in Live Heart-Fully, you will be talking with your friends more often, making regular phone calls to them, spending quality time with them more often, and opening up and getting real and raw with them. Ultimately you will enjoy your friends more than you may have in a long time. I hope you choose to join me and Live Heart-fully! Sign up below.
I love the idea of intentionally cultivating relationships. Such a great goal!!!
Sarah, this is WONDERFUL! Love it! So practical and encouraging… and SO TRUE!
[…] Cultivating Relationships is a Priority […]
[…] CULTIVATING RELATIONSHIPS IS A PRIORITY. HERE’S WHY […]
[…] IDENTITY STRONG IN MOTHERHOOD CULTIVATING RELATIONSHIPS IS A PRIORITY. HERE’S WHY ARE YOU CONTROLLING? DISCOVER HOW TO RELINGQUISH CONTROL […]
[…] fact, I made it a resolution for the New Year, 2018. (to find out why this has been important to me click and read here ). While I cannot legitimately say that I have all the answers to how I did this successfully, (I […]
[…] with friends. In fact, I made it a resolution for the New Year, 2018 to connect with others. (click and read here to find out why this has been important to me). I previously wrote a blog about some of the ways I […]
Cultivating relationships is so very important…and sometimes too easy to let them fall behind. Great reminder to work at it!
Michelle, thank you so much for your comment. I absolutely agree. It is easy to neglect our relationships, or to get indifferent, or lazy. We always must be intentional so the relationships don’t start breaking down.
As an introvert, I find it hard to build relationships. Being around people can be mentally and emotionally draining for me. Sometimes my husband would urge me to go out and meet people. or even call family or friends. I am also the type of person who is comfortable with only texting or emailing. I am also not into superficial friendships or small talks. that’s why I suck at networking. Nonetheless, I agree that building relationships is important. As you said, life is meant to be shared.
Hi Carmen! Thanks for your comment and thoughts. Introverts tend to be very thoughtful and meaningful in their relationships. I am also an introvert, and I totally understand the mental exhaustion that comes with socializing. This is not a blog about changing who you are. Just trying to convey the importance of relationships, and the ever increasing need for intentionality in cultivating them. Hope that all makes sense.
[…] You Need to Know Why Relationships Are So Important […]