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Help Your Children Turn Their Boredom into Brilliance with These Strategic Steps
Summer was winding down a couple of years back. I was in a conversation with another mother when I asked how their summer was. She told me that it was busy and went by really fast. That summer, she enrolled her two kids in a lot of day camps, which kept them busy. She excitedly shared with me the details of their many summer activities. Afterward, she proudly said, “They didn’t even have time to be bored at all.” Hmm. But what if they did have that time? What would she have done with their boredom?
My First Thoughts about this story
Those words stuck with me so strongly. My immediate thought response (though admittedly very unfair) was that of sadness. I felt sad for her children because she kept them that busy. I also felt sad for this mother because of the stress she must undergo every summer and through holiday breaks. It is stressful to constantly find ways to keep our children busy and entertained so they don’t feel bored. There’s a lot of anxiety if ever her children do in fact, feel bored.
But these thoughts are not fair to her. I know this because she is not alone in the struggle. Many parents struggle with the often-burdensome expectations to keep their kids busy and entertained. Societal pressures mostly throw these expectations at us. Society expects parents to raise performance-oriented children who can compete with the increasingly unrealistic demands of universities. Parents impose many of these expectations on themselves, adopting them from what they consume on social media.
However, I digress. So let me retrace my thoughts back to my thought process as this mother shared her summer with me.
A more sympathetic thought response
Going back to the aforementioned mama’s comments about their summer, my second, much more sympathetic, and certainly more worthy thought response involved a current societal feeling about boredom. That is boredom is frustrating to deal with, and commonly viewed through a negative filter. As I took the time to think more intently about this feeling, it occurred to me that boredom is actually a very normal part of the human experience.
Parents tend to be very aware of this. It is especially true during seasons when kids have a lot more free time at their disposal. These can be summer breaks, Christmas breaks, and Spring breaks. It can even be longer, three-day weekends.
It’s not uncommon for parents to become easily frustrated with their children’s frequent complaints about being bored. Parents often dismiss them with a shoulder shrug and a comment like, “You have plenty of toys, go find one to play with.”
So what do we do about our children’s boredom?
Eliminating boredom is not simply about having toys and finding something to do with them. It is more about finding the right thing to do.
Let’s explore this concept a bit more.
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But first, I want to be sure to add that I am in no way making a statement that boredom is entirely and absolutely good for kids (or for anyone). This is especially important to note when the boredom is excessive and/or chronic. Chronic boredom is worrisome. Chronic boredom can lead to emotional and mental stress and can be an indicator of depression. To read more about how chronic boredom affects our mental and emotional health, here are one (NAMI), and two (NIH) reputable sources of information.
That said, boredom is not inherently bad and every child will inevitably experience feelings of boredom throughout their growing years. In reasonable doses, it is normal for boredom to occur. This is the context in which this discussion of boredom is applicable.
When given the right tools and support, boredom can lead us to some of our best innovations. In fact, it is often in these times of boredom that people become the most brilliant versions of themselves. This is true for adults just as much as it is true for children.
How so?
Why do we get bored
First, let’s explore exactly why a person gets bored. Feelings of boredom are the brain’s way of communicating that we are lacking the stimulation we need to engage our bodies and/or minds in something. The brain is saying that it is time to change things up and explore something different.
Boredom’s purpose is to nudge us to engage with our environment in a new way, or to seek a unique experience that promotes independence.
So then, going back to the question of how boredom can catapult people into the most brilliant versions of themselves…
Again, boredom presents an opportunity to not just find something to do but to find the right thing to do. Remember, these include those things that stimulate the mind and engage us with our environment.
This will look different for everyone at different stages of life. As parents, it is important to understand that each child at each age level requires uniquely different measures of mental stimulation and engagement with their environment. This is often different from their other siblings. So, it is important to pay attention when your children are bored and work with them to find appropriate solutions.
Continue reading below for some ideas on this.
What to do About your children’s Boredom?
First Way to Help Your Children Navigate Boredom:
Sit down and talk with them about the things they love and the skills they have. Children may not often forget about what they love. But sometimes they need reminders and extra reassurance about the things they are good at doing. What a great way to start out summer, winter, and spring breaks with your kids. This can be a meaningful conversation that supports them in their attempts to engage and stimulate their minds. It is also an opportunity to build them up in their confidence both mentally and emotionally.
Second Way to Help Your Children Navigate Boredom
Discuss how they can use their passions and their skills to finish tasks and set goals. Once you have discussed their interests and their skills, work together to come up with ways they can combine their passions (what they love) and their skills (what they’re good at doing) to finish something. This discussion is an excellent way to brainstorm with your children about what they want to finish in the short and long term. It also, once again, will greatly encourage them in their uniqueness and help them aspire towards their goals.
Third Way to Help Your Children Navigate Boredom:
Create an “I’m Bored” list. It helps to create an “I’m Bored” list and hang it up where your child(ren) can see it and refer to it when they feel bored.
The list should have a combination of short-term and long-term projects for them to choose from when they feel bored. These can be related to the brainstorming session above, but they do not have to be related. Be careful, though, not to just place any random project on your child’s list to keep them busy. While it may tame your frustrations with their boredom, remember, these projects should be things that combine both their passions and their skills. They should also stimulate their mind and engage them with their environment. In light of that, each child should have their own “I’m Bored” list. Below are some great general examples.
- For younger children: Consider art or science projects. Dressing up and imaginative play. Riding a bike or playing a particular sport outside.
- For older children: Planting a garden. Creating tinker bins filled with crafting and DIY supplies, and letting them creatively engineer a masterpiece. Going outside to practice a particular sports skill. Writing, or drawing projects.
- For adolescent children: Starting a community service project. Connecting like-minded peers and starting a club, etc.
In a world where structured activities and constant stimulation often dominate childhood, people easily view boredom as something to be avoided at all costs.
Final Thoughts on What to Do About Your Children’s Boredom
I hope that you have learned that when approached mindfully, boredom can be a powerful catalyst for creativity and personal growth. By helping children harness the potential of their idle moments, parents can turn what seems like wasted time into opportunities for children to discover their brilliance.
Encouraging kids to explore their passions, engage in meaningful projects, and discover or rediscover the environment around them not only combats boredom but also fosters resilience, innovation, and self-discovery.
Embrace boredom as a natural and beneficial part of life, rather than something to fear. It will empower children to grow into creative, confident individuals who can navigate life’s challenges with ingenuity and grace.